We're SO sorry. Go directly to jail; do not pass Go; do not collect $200. Without some humor and at least a wee bit of open-mindedness, you don't stand a chance of surviving this site beyond your next meal of fenugreek sprouts and garbanzo beans. Otherwise, try chomping down on that thar crunchy carrot, Bugs, and prepare yourself for the myth-busting tour of articles and essays to be found elsewhere on the site. Eyyhhh, what's up, Doc?