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The Raw Vegan Pledge
of Extremism, Ignorance & Denial

by Tom Billings
Copyright © 1998 by Thomas E. Billings. All rights reserved.
Contact author for permission to republish.

If you've just surfed into the Beyond Veg site and this is the first article on the site that you read, we'll give fair warning here that without a background context for the piece, you might falsely assume the Pledge is anti-vegan. (Vegans are known for--how to say it--taking their lunch far too seriously at times.) In reality, the Pledge is a call for reform in the raw vegan movement, disguised as sarcastic satire. To avoid any misunderstanding, we suggest you read through the other material pertaining to raw veganism on this site before reading the Pledge.

However, if you've already read a number of articles on the site or you're particularly adventurous, then you MAY be ready for the sarcastic humor of the Pledge. How can you tell? It's not hard: If the material on this website does NOT appeal to you; if it offends you by challenging many of the things you believe in; if it offends you by criticizing your lunch, then perhaps you should seriously consider actually TAKING the following pledge. On the other hand, if you appreciate the material on this site, you might find the lampooning here of raw vegan extremists to be very funny and "on target." Enjoy! :-)

Note: The following is intended as a sharp, sarcastic satire of the current state (1998) of extremism in the raw vegan world. If you are easily offended, you may want to skip this article.

The International
Raw Alliance of Vegan Extremists (IRAVE)

M E M B E R S H I P   P L E D G E


1. The raw vegan diet is the one true religion and science of perfect health.

2. The vegan diet is based on high moral principles, particularly compassion.

3. Compassion should be promoted toward all living beings on this planet, with the obvious exception of those murderous meat-eaters and the "cooked," those who consume cooked foods. (Those who eat meat or cooked foods are degenerates, hence are "fair game" for insults, harassment, threats, and other similar forms of enlightened, compassionate interaction.)

4. The International Raw Alliance of Vegan Extremists (referred to hereafter by the initials: IRAVE) is an organization devoted to promoting the glorious 100% raw vegan diet.

5. IRAVE has extremely strict criteria for membership.


I wish to become a full-fledged member of IRAVE, including the rights and responsibilities thereof (i.e., the right to believe and follow, without challenge or question, the teachings of IRAVE, and the responsibility to regularly send money to the IRAVE leadership).


I do hereby, of my own free will, swear or affirm my complete allegiance to the following pledge:


In certification of my complete personal allegiance to the above solemn pledge, I hereby sign my name using one of my own precious bodily fluids:


____________________ (Date)

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